Coffee Jelly with Cloyingly Sweet Powder

Today's post will consider the first truly worth contender for eighth wonder of the world we have ever seen. What am I talking about? Obviously the creation of one who must certainly be a world leader in the mystical and mysterious realm of food science, the marvelous and wonderful Coffee Flavored Jelly! Figure one pictures the product after the attractive shrink wrap coating has been pulled off of the attractive paper cup and the individually sealed jellies are dumped on any available flat surface, preferably the bottom of the garbage bin, but failing that a table will do. The suspect white powder has, faithful to the instructions, been dumped unceremoniously into the cup and the transparent plastic two-tined fork has been brandished and is at the ready.

The jellies can be dipped carefully one by one into the powder at the bottom of the plastic cup, which will leave an attractive layer of said powder on the surface of said jelly which will be certain to please the consumer. Or, the jellies can be all unwrapped and all heaved in at once, which is the method I propose. (pictured in figure 2) This method will create an unappealing wetness when the powder mixes with the residual jelly liquid which builds up faster than even most experienced empiricist might at first calculation calculate. Said excess humidity will form a grey film on any jelly henceforth bunged in which may well be even more likely to please the consumer based on this empiricist's prediction on what sort of consumer is likely to consume said product.

After achieving the desired film be it granulated or slimy, the consumer either under his own power, or working through an agent should endeavour to assist a jelly with the aid of the two pronged fork into the vicinity of the oral cavity. (Figure 3)
One should be brave at this point when courage and perhaps a lack of the grey matter wouldn't be at all amiss.



Figure four pictures the author after having thrown all courage to the wind and heaving multiple jellies into his mouth at once.
Notice the bulge in the cheeks and the confused and panicked look.
Click on each image to enjoy a larger view of each one.

No wonder the Chinese prefer Tea to coffee.