My Teaching Contract

After my Pine Pudding incident related in the last post I had to go to Yueqing to talk to the high school administrators who had said they had a job for me. In usual Chinese style, they told me come on in, it had been decided that I would be hired. they had been talking about signing a contract earlier this week, but hadn't had a final word on the salary that I wanted. I told them that I would sign a contract when they had gotten it all figured out.

Yesterday they called and told me to come on in like I mentioned, only stating i should come in the afternoon, not specifying a time. When I got there all the administrators were having a meeting. I waited for 2 hours. Then I came back to the office and they said the principal was not there so they couldn't sign a contract with me until he got back to talk about it. I then asked everyone when they thought the principle might be back. (never ask just one person, the sense of lying here is very different from what I am used to at home. They are not lying, they are just obfuscating the truth. Perhaps, because they don't know an exact date, they don't feel as though they have to tell you their honest assumption even if they are 95% certain.) A few people said a couple days. One person said next month, but because he said it on the 29th, that easily could have been 2 days to 33 days. he was very firm about his answer however, repeating it several times. Often people will repeat their answer to a question over and over again, the general feeling being the more often something is said the more believable it is. Other people said a week still others said a few weeks. His wife, also involved in the school administration said she didn't know a couple times. She later said she could tell him to come back early.

They did however welcome me to come and start teaching as soon as possible. They said the salary would start from whenever I began working. but still no word on what the salary would be. They want me to teach 8 classes a week spread out over the whole week and be in the office 7:25 am until some time after 4 pm. and in the mornings on Saturdays. they also want me to go to extra curricular activities and participate. and they want me to stand around in the 10 minute breaks between classes and teach the children English. they told me that If I could improve the English of their students then they would be really happy. however, they don't seem to have arranged it so that I will have any chance at all of improving the English of their students. I guess I could sit in the office for 6 days a week and get some serious reading done, but I'm not sure if this is really the best idea.

I had just been reading a very interesting blog about Contract negotiation in China the night before. Thank God I had because had I not I might have fallen for one of their tricks. The blog is a lot of fun. After reading it, I realized that the Chinese aren't really all that bad, the funny thing is they are used to Westerners being really culturally sensitive and taking bad business practices that they would never accept at home for cultural differences. A link to the blog: http://chinesenegotiation.com/

This is a good read just for fun or for anyone who wants a review of business negotiation. His point is simple and applicable wherever you are doing business. Do not make excuses for bad business practices on the part of your partners or anybody else.

Back to repeating a proving something is true by repetition, I have had to do this with the English teachers here. I tell them a sentence in the textbook is incorrect and they tell me that is just British English grammar. I don't get angry, even though I mostly enjoy reading British publications. I read the Times and the Guardian online, and I prefer British novels (I don't mean Harry Potter, either.) One example sentence the teacher put on the board that tickled me was "This is the man whom I was talking to." Or something along those lines. I love the use of whom, now seldom used in a sentence ending in a preposition. They should be happy I don't ever correct them in front of their students. Anyway, I have to resort to repeating myself to convince them of grammar rules, my explanations never help.

Besides the frustrating school administrators, the high school is really beautiful. It is built on a series of large terraces on the side of a mountain. The Teachers apartments are nestled in trees and rocks at the top of the campus, and you can walk up to a pavilion to look down at the city and mountains opposite.

The Children are nice, and very eager to talk to me, but in general behave like wild animals inside and outside the classroom. The teachers don't even bother to argue with the kids because if an argument starts the kids really get into it. There are 55 plus kids to a class.

This another big reason I am hesitant to accept this job. They really expect me to increase the English language ability of a student population of 1500 with 8 hours a week and 55 kids each hour. I only get face time with 450 kids for one hour a week per class. Not much chance of that happening. I do love the setting and they layout of the school, and the kids are great, but the teacher's apartments are holes.

Any prospective partners to start an import business instead?

松糕 or Relaxed Cake

Yesterday morning when I woke up I tried to go back to sleep, but was interrupted, as is not unusual by unnecessary amounts of fireworks. When it became painfully clear that sleep was not an option I did the next best thing which is go out and have a look. There was a huge procession and lots of balloons which had been set out the day before. I couldn't tell at a distance whether it was a funeral or a wedding procession. I thought from all of the marching band music that it was a funeral. I took a couple of pictures and went downstairs to get something to eat. My mother in law informed me that the fireworks and balloons were to celebrate the new bridge, a very small affair that can just barely be made out in the right hand side of the first picture. Evidently the first people in the procession were five generations of married couples all from the same family. You need harmoniously married couples for bridge ceremonies. I expressed my surprise that there were five generations of one family all married and living at the same time. If they were all of the same clan, but not directly related, that is the younger generation being the son of the previous generation all the way down five generations, then it is much easier to believe. For example, my uncle in law has a friend from junior high school (about 40 now) who he always delights in telling me over and over again is one generation younger than my wife (in her 20s.)

This reminded me about an interesting anecdote I read in an academic article about Qing dynasty queue clipping cases and bridge building. Queues were a legal requirement during the Qing dynasty. If you cut off your queue, this was tantamount to not recognising the sovereignty of the dynasty and was punishable by death by beheading. For a time there was a scare of thieves and magicians clipping people's queues, I believe during the Kangxi reign. One of the supposed uses for a queue was in bridge building. The queue, which when clipped would contain the soul or vital forces of the victim was attached to the bottom of wooden pilings to make them easier to drive or buried beneath stone bridges to ensure the longevity of the structure. Evidently, in some areas, soul magic was rampant in large important engineering projects as a way to ensure lasting work. The victim would quickly weaken and die his soul being forever attached to the edifice.

When I had finished daydreaming about bridge building magic, my mother in law offered me some sort of cake made with glutinous rice. When I typed the name into Google translation it came up with Pine Pudding. Maybe I'll stick with that nomenclature. Relaxed cake is another pseudo-translation of the ilk my favorite teacher always told us never to perpetrate. At any rate, the pine pudding is pictured to the left. I included the picture with the somewhat dirty surroundings to help you understand what an evil and dirty thing pine pudding really is.

I ate about 2 small bowls or one full bowl. It had just come out of the steamer and was very soft and extremely sticky. After I choked it down and hurried back to the computer, I began to feel sorry I had. The phlegm started to build up in my throat and didn't abate for about 20 minutes which is when the pain in my abdomen started for real. First I felt as though the pudding was trapped in my esophagus and wouldn't sink into my stomach. Then for the next few hours I felt cramps travel through my digestive system. So of course I had to begin eating medicine, the first of which is pictured to the left. After drinking this which is a bunch of grass stems ground up and boiled in water I did not get any relief. I lay in bed not moving until I was called to lunch. I moaned loudly and shamelessly. I was made to eat two more medicines (not pictured) and even after that I could only eat a half a bowl of rice for fear of further upsetting my various organs. I fortunately survived this ordeal, but it proves that Chinese food should not be fooled around with. This, naturally, brings to mind another anecdote from the movie (or book for those of you who still use them) To Live by Yu Hua (a fictional work) where the doctor is rescued from the red guard because the daughter is bleeding a lot while giving birth, and the doctor is too dizzy to be of any help because they haven't been feeding him. So the family run out and buy him a bunch of steamed bread of which he wolfs a whole lot. He then demands water which is of course steaming hot and he drinks more than he should which causes the steamed buns to expand and his stomach to burst and he dies and then the pregnant daughter dies too because there are no doctors left alive. Thank God I had had the pine pudding and not the steamed buns.

I almost forgot. I was telling an inspired version of my sufferings today at dinner, and my mother in law laughed the whole way through. She then mentioned that they had received more Pine Pudding and it was much better when it wasn't steamed, and hurried to cut up a couple pieces and offered it to me. I refused at which point she cut up the entire thing, put it on a plate and set it in front of me. My wife refuses to touch the stuff and protested violently when it was set before me. She is a dear. Its not such bad stuff, but sometimes I am too zealous in my endeavours to try to help my mother in law finish all the food so its not wasted. I am struck by the fact that people in the US who lived through the great depression are still much more affected by it refusing to waste food, and people here who lived through real famines much more recently will waste food when most of the population still has to struggle to get enough. Some people here are still conscious of it. One of my friends fathers always scolds his children if one grain of rice is left in the bowl or dropped on the table. I was kind of a fan of that. I don't like it when people's memories are so short they forget about famines in their own lifetime.

The Doctor's Office

Yesterday, I began to feel somewhat sick with a sore throat probably because of all of the air pollution from untreated emissions from small household factories and coal burning, but maybe because I relapsed and was smoking again.

I was very uncomfortable when I woke up owing to clogged sinuses and a very sore throat, so I went to the 'doctor' after breakfast. I told the doctor I had caught a cold and was stuffy and my throat hurt. The doctor got out a tongue depressor and looked into my throat. I was somewhat disappointed to see her immediately put the tongue depressor back into the same jar she got it from. I had heard they do that here, but I had forgotten. The thermometer was half-heartedly wiped with a piece of alcohol flavored cotton and then unceremoniously shoved under my tongue.

The diagnosis was quickly settled on. I needed shots of antibiotic in the posterior, and nothing else would help. This was a welcome respite from American doctors who often want to send a sample to a laboratory to test for strep throat. I didn't want shots, but when I saw they had individually wrapped disposable syringes I relented. They didn't let on that they were going to give me two shots at a time and two more at night until it was already too late.

I have to go back again to let them check me out again tomorrow, which I dread. I will have to bring my own tongue depressor

The funniest thing on the web:
The Bugle
This is a Podcast from The Times online. Two British Comedians Andy Zaltzman and John Oliver (used to work for The Daily Show, may still) give their extremely funny take on British domestic as well as international news.

Coffee Jelly with Cloyingly Sweet Powder

Today's post will consider the first truly worth contender for eighth wonder of the world we have ever seen. What am I talking about? Obviously the creation of one who must certainly be a world leader in the mystical and mysterious realm of food science, the marvelous and wonderful Coffee Flavored Jelly! Figure one pictures the product after the attractive shrink wrap coating has been pulled off of the attractive paper cup and the individually sealed jellies are dumped on any available flat surface, preferably the bottom of the garbage bin, but failing that a table will do. The suspect white powder has, faithful to the instructions, been dumped unceremoniously into the cup and the transparent plastic two-tined fork has been brandished and is at the ready.

The jellies can be dipped carefully one by one into the powder at the bottom of the plastic cup, which will leave an attractive layer of said powder on the surface of said jelly which will be certain to please the consumer. Or, the jellies can be all unwrapped and all heaved in at once, which is the method I propose. (pictured in figure 2) This method will create an unappealing wetness when the powder mixes with the residual jelly liquid which builds up faster than even most experienced empiricist might at first calculation calculate. Said excess humidity will form a grey film on any jelly henceforth bunged in which may well be even more likely to please the consumer based on this empiricist's prediction on what sort of consumer is likely to consume said product.

After achieving the desired film be it granulated or slimy, the consumer either under his own power, or working through an agent should endeavour to assist a jelly with the aid of the two pronged fork into the vicinity of the oral cavity. (Figure 3)
One should be brave at this point when courage and perhaps a lack of the grey matter wouldn't be at all amiss.



Figure four pictures the author after having thrown all courage to the wind and heaving multiple jellies into his mouth at once.
Notice the bulge in the cheeks and the confused and panicked look.
Click on each image to enjoy a larger view of each one.

No wonder the Chinese prefer Tea to coffee.

More Super-Special Chinese Fashion

Here is hoping these first two pictures don't offend anyone. I found this coat in a store and had to model it for a picture. I didn't buy it. I always wonder what they think when I pick up their clothes and giggle at them and sometimes take pictures without buying them. I try to be somewhat descrete when indulging in my obsession with interesting English, but sometimes the passion overwhealms me in a public spot and I throw all caution to the wind in a total disregard for the safety of my person.

I have always wondered why the Chinese are not willing to be respectful of Europeans and American's feelings about certain symbols and events. I am fully aware that the swastica is a Buddhist symbol, but Buddhist symbols are not usually worn on clothes such as this, and anyhow, this instance merely amuses me. It bothers me that they use the Schutzstaffel SS logo for their "China famous brand." This is certainly uncalled for, as the letters SS have nothing to do with famous brands. I suppose there is no use discussing it as it won't change anything.

I actually bought this shirt and brought it home before posing for a picture. I guess you can't really make out the words on the shirt, but it says pain and salvation. I guess one should wear it during self flaggelation. I actually like it. I hope its not a rip-off of a famous brand, not that I mind rippoffs that much in principle, but since I like it I hope against all hope that it is an original design. And plus, its pink. Dosen't get any better than that.

Prayer for Sending Off the Dead

   Liangshi just told me her mother just told her that tonight there is going to be a 'prayer for sending off the dead.' Their churches all do this here. I suppose its like a funeral or a wake. They all get together in a tent outside the house of the deceased and they have a PA system thats turned up way too loud and one person sings into the PA system (usually the worst singer of the group, some old guy who smokes a lot) and drowns out all the other singers (just like at my wedding when the priest would croak into the microphone during the hymns.) They always have a tent outside the home of the deceased with people sitting inside praying no matter what the religion is. They just switch the taoist priests chanting for fellow Christians singing if they happen to be Christians. I think you can get Buddhists too if you want.

   So the whole point of the story is Liangshi's mother just told her she should come to the "prayer for sending off the dead" because they are giving out free laundry detergent and if she goes too, they can get two bags of laundry detergent. I gather traditionally the family of the deceased would provide a meal or some sort of refreshment as a display of gratitude to those who came to help send off the dead relative, now its customary to give powdered laundry soap or liquid laundry detergent or toothpaste.

Night Scenery By the Moon Toad River

These are all pictures I took at night in the village where I live.
If you click on this image to see it full size, you can see they set up a huge television screen and are playing a movie. Incidentally, they also turned they sound up really loud. The occasion was a town public education campaign to stop people throwing trash in the river. They stopped the movie halfway through and told people throwing trash in the river is bad.


This is a picture of the senior citizen's recreation facility. I woke up sometime after midnight a few days ago because the workmen were driving a truck in and out of the island the building is built on.

I don't know why they work at night so much and during the day so little. Maybe the same reason they do in the US. In order to bury toxic waste. Although they don't do it to drive up the overtime hours on their paychecks like they do back home.

This is a sweet picture my wife took during Typhoon Luosha. The Wenzhou area has the highest concentration of Christians in all of China. Be sure to look at the full size picture so you can see the water dripping down the sides of the buildings. I like that the only color in the picture is the red cross and its hardly noticeable.







Another of my wife's pictures taken from inside the house during the hurricane. I went out wading during the hurricane when the water first flooded the street outside the house, but didn't go outside wading after that for fear of contracting something.

When I told one of my acquaintances about this he said "our water here is very clean! Just a little bit of a high heavy metal content is all."

Agriculture and Food Procurement in Moon-toad River West Village

It is harvest season for rice in Willow city. There have been many people drying their rice out on the road for the past month, I guess the rice ripened a little bit slower in our village.The first picture is of an old farmer who was drying his rice on the road outside my house before hulling it. Most people farming in this area are quite old like him. he lays his rice out on the pavement and then sweeps it with a broom until it is evenly spread at which point it is raked to ensure proper drying. I wonder if the sand raking in Japanese gardens wasn't inspired by raking the rice while drying it. I wonder if any readers might have any evidence to prove or disprove this thesis either way?

This is a man in a boat in a fashionable pink hat. The boats here are of a sort I have never seen before. The hull is entirely cast out of concrete. All the boats here are like this except for the dragon boats which are still made out of wood. Dragon boats would probably be concrete too if the weight didn't slow them down so much. I bet a concrete boat is hard work to paddle or pole around.

My uncle in law is the proud owner of a fish zapper. This is a regular net mounted on a bamboo pole with a few hundred feet of electric wire that is plugged into a regular household outlet. Then the net is lowered into the river and the fish float up to the surface where they can be fished out with the electric net. I told my mother in law I thought this practice was stupid and dangerous. She said there was someone who lived in her parents village who was zapping fish while standing in the water and died. I'm not sure if he was actually the one doing the zapping or if he was just an unlucky swimmer who happened to float up with the fish. Maybe he jumped in to grab the fish as they floated up to the surface.

I was wondering if putting a live wire into a body of water wouldn't waste a lot of current and run up your electric bill, or would it be just like running a normal electrical appliance. If anyone has any electrical knowledge pertinent to this topic, please leave a comment.

11/15/07 Since 11/08/07, the man pictured above raking out his rice had a blood vessel burst and is now laying in a hospital. He borrowed 30,000 chinese yuan for his operation and it didn't go well. He can now no longer walk or talk. He had no wife or sons and so his brothers took him to the hospital. He had cultivated 4 mu of rice all by himself this year. 6 mu is one acre. He also raised chickens to sell the eggs. We can all hope that he will get better, but its not looking good. He wouldn't take anyones advice to go to a hospital in Wenzhou for his operation. He was determined to have it done at home in Liushi.

Haute couture in the middle kingdom

When my Mother in law came home today she had a nice present for me. Sure enough, I was the happy recipient of a Chinese remix and free-form interpretation fashion design inspired by Versace. The black part covering the shoulders in actually a deep purple corduroy with the bold statement "voguesport" emblazoned in velour.

Underneath the corduroy we have what I believe is an attempt at a Versace logo which says jeans classic in the middle with velour tribal tattoo design outlined in sparkly fabric paint dots. The material is very stretchy and has a lot of lycra in it. It is made of about the same stuff as the other shirt, another gift from my mother in law.

This other treasure she found when she was out in the morning shopping for vegetables. It was also 50RMB or just under 7 dollars US. Same price as the previous one, except I happened to notice that the list price on the tag of the fake Versace was 538 RMB, or about 73 USD at the current exchange rate. This is about half of a monthly salary of a regular factory worker in a more well to do area such as this one. Lucky we got more than 90% off.
This beauty is a stunning shade of light blue. They say it goes really well with my blue eyes and they can't help telling me that I look good in anything because my skin is so white. In fact I was just told the picture was cute because I look so white. I don't think my mother would want me after seeing that picture, but each to their own I guess. I certainly wouldn't paint my face with shoe polish just to spite them.

The blue piece may also be a more loose ripoff, but its probably more designed in the spirit of ripoff than directly copying logos. The caption reads "Lilang casual fasion" and three letters, apparently chosen at random, are covered in tiny glittering plastic beads.

I wish i had a picture of my Chinese shirt i bought in Tianjin with my friend Andrew in 2002. It was horizontal stripes of varying widths in black green and orange. I couldn't bring myself to wear it after I got home which is a shame. I should have brought it back here with me, really a work of art.

Loading heavy equipment Chinese Style

Last night I was witness to another display of Chinese ingenuity. It was dangerous, yes, but ingenious nonetheless. There is a park under construction on a small island in the middle of the river in front of my in-laws house and a front end loader is being used in the landscaping. Yesterday, they were done with it, or wanted to switch it for another one and a flatbed truck pulled up. It was just a flatbed, the bed being at least a meter off the ground; no heavy duty trailer with just inches of clearance like we have back home. The front end loader pulled up behind the truck, set the bucket on the bed and proceeded to push down on the bed until one end of the track was about the same height off the ground as the truck bed and then drove forward while pulling the boom in to set the tracks on the edge of the truck. The boom was then swung around, placed on the ground and used to push the tractor as it drove up onto the bed. I wish it had been light out, I certainly would have taken a picture if not rushed out to videotape it.